Security People, You've Become a Joke — and We're Coming for Your Category Zoo.


Let's stop lying to ourselves. Most of you who call yourselves "security professionals" aren't in security at all.

You're in comfort management.

You've built careers out of standing watch inside safe little perimeters, acting like heroes while never setting foot into the actual fight.

You talk about "threat actors" but couldn't dismantle one if your job depended on it.

You talk about "zero trust" while trusting every single vendor with a slide deck on the trade-show circuit.

You swagger around with your badges and acronyms, but take away your dashboards and you're naked.

You're Not Defenders, You're Maintenance Staff

We don't care if your title says CISO, SOC Lead, Security Architect, or Threat Intel Director — if your day-to-day is waiting for alerts and filing incident reports, you're a maintenance worker in a suit.

You keep the lights on in a system someone else built, and you call that "the front line." It's not. It's a fenced yard. And you don't even own the fence.

From the Legends to the Lawn Chair Brigade

The people who built this field — Wiener, Lampson, Diffie, Hellman — they were engineers of the battlefield. They rewrote protocols, bent physics, invented new mathematics. They understood the game board and changed its rules.

You?

You inherited a fenced-off playpen and convinced yourself it's the whole world. You buy more cameras, more locks, more guards — and then celebrate "keeping things safe" when the real fight is happening in the infrastructure you've never touched.

The Industry's Favorite Hobby: LARPing as Warriors

You love the theatre. You love the conference panels, the victory laps on the social posts about "collaboration in the community," the safe little tabletop exercises.

Meanwhile, adversaries are weaponizing your identities, hijacking BGP routes, poisoning DNS caches, embedding persistence in firmware, injecting themselves into your stack so their code rides shotgun inside your supply chain — and you're still talking about MFA rollouts like it's a military campaign.

You've got your certs, your lanyards, your "thought leadership," but strip it all away and most of you couldn't take over a single adversary asset if your life depended on it. You don't even try.

You don't think like predators — you think like property managers.

Your Vocabulary is a Confession of Weakness

Monitor. Detect. Respond. Mitigate. That's all you've got. Those are the verbs of losers.

Black hats talk about infiltrate, seize, disrupt, deny. They write their own maps, while you're standing in the guard tower, waiting to see where they show up.

You've Outsourced Your Brain

You've handed your craft over to vendors. Can't reverse engineer? Buy EDR. Don't understand protocols? Buy a "network security suite."

Too scared to touch an actual adversary?

Pay someone else to red team you — and then ignore half their findings.

Let's be clear: these categories and tools aren't pure either. They're bastard children born of bored security managers and venture capitalists, each looking to squeeze budget from the same stale fear cycles.

The categories aren't innovation — they're packaging for mediocrity.

Phase One of the Purge: These Categories Go First.

(Because before you build a new internet (exohuman grid), you have to burn the rotting scaffolding to the ground.)

Identity Providers
(IdPs)

Every so-called "gatekeeper" in this space is just a brittle, centralized choke point dressed up as a security service. They keep telling the same fairytale: "Trust us with all your keys, all your users, all your uptime." Then they get breached, lock everyone out, and call it an "incident." No. We're taking the keys away.

Identity & Access
Management (IAM)

IAM is the priesthood of corporate paranoia — massive, bloated policy temples built on static trust maps. They call it "role-based," "policy-based," "context-aware." All of it is still a glorified ledger of who's allowed in which room, hallway, or corridor — a bureaucracy pretending to be security. We're dynamiting the ledger.

Identity Governance &
Administration (IGA)

Governance is the cage around the chaos, but these systems are archaic taxonomies that slow progress and suffocate innovation. They demand committees, tickets, and reconciliations. We're replacing governance with cryptographic proof baked directly into trust relationships — no spreadsheets, no stale policies.

Privileged Access
Management (PAM)

The category is basically "How to babysit your admins because you don't trust them." Session recording. Vaulted credentials. Expiry timers. All treating symptoms of a deeper disease they refuse to cure: centralization of too much power in too few hands. We're distributing power until there's no "privileged" left to manage.

Fraud Detection &
Incident Response (FDIR)

Endless cycles of "detect, respond, repeat" are a treadmill the fraudsters love — it keeps you paying vendors to tell you you've already been owned. They don't want to stop fraud; they want to monetize its inevitability and worship its permanence. We're stopping the fraud and starving their parasitic revenue models.

Identity Threat Detection
& Response (ITDR)

The entire category exists because the upstream identity systems are garbage. "Detect threats." "Respond faster." Translation: build a billion-dollar siren to yell at you when the front door you installed is made of wet cardboard. We're not putting better alarms on a rotten door — we're replacing the door with a wall no one can kick in.

Cloud Access Security
Brokers (CASB)

Middlemen who stand between you and your cloud apps, pretending to be your guardrail. They're the toll booths of the cloud era — skimming off your traffic while slowing you down, enforcing artificial chokepoints that serve them, not you. We're embedding the guardrails into the fabric itself, no toll booths required.

Mobile Device
Management (MDM)

Walled gardens trying to control endpoints with outdated models. Phones and devices aren't borders you can fence in; they're vectors integrated cryptographically into the trust substrate. We eradicate device management with true device-level cryptographic posture, removing controls that collapse under attack.

Security Information &
Event Management (SIEM)

The category has collapsed under its own noise. Billions of dollars spent collecting logs no one reads, correlating events no one understands, generating alerts no one responds to. It's all rear-view mirror security. We're ripping out the mirror and giving you a forward-facing cockpit.

User and Entity Behavior
Analytics (UEBA)

Trying to guess who's "normal" and who's not with machine learning black boxes that never explain themselves, churn meaningless alerts, or misclassify threats endlessly. We bake identity, context, and device posture into the substrate itself so trust is explicit, verifiable, and cannot be guessed or bypassed.

SaaS Security Posture
Management (SSPM)

Another layer of vendor noise trying to enforce posture through APIs and constant monitoring, reporting, and misconfigured policies. We bake posture validation natively into every transaction, every call, and every user interaction — no external checks, no 3rd party gatekeepers required or trusted.

Compliance, Audit, and
Regulatory Reporting Tooling

Audit, attestation, reporting pipelines all built on brittle, manual, error-prone processes across multiple teams, silos, systems, and departments. We embed cryptographic compliance that proves itself, automatically and continuously, across every transaction, device, and user action — not after the fact.

Endpoint Agent
Based IAM (AIAM)

New subcategory trying to retrofit agents into IAM — bolted-on proxies pretending to secure endpoints, applications, legacy systems, and connected devices across enterprises. We cut the agents out entirely by building trust and posture directly into the substrate — no agents, no backdoors.

Directory-centric
Identity

The ancient backbone of enterprise identity — a monolith of static permissions, brittle directories, and outdated hierarchical structures long trusted by organizations. We replace directory-centric models with dynamic, cryptographically enforced identity relationships that evolve and adapt in real-time.

Digital Forensics &
Incident Response (DFIR)

This is the after-party cleanup crew for breaches. By the time DFIR shows up, the blood is already on the walls, the valuables are gone, and you've been completely and publicly turned into a security case study for a conference talk. We're not interested in post-mortems — we're preventing the deaths.

Zero Trust Network
Access (ZTNA)

The name is already a confession: zero trust in the network, zero trust in the users, zero trust in the admins — but somehow infinite, blind trust in the ZTNA vendor. It's just VPN 2.0 with marketing steroids and flashy dashboards. We're implementing actual, cryptographic, posture-based trust — native, not bolted on.

Multi-Factor
Authentication (MFA)

MFA is duct tape on the authentication corpse. SMS codes. App prompts. Hardware tokens. Push notifications. Security questions. Backup codes. All hacks around the fact that your core auth system is still guessable and phishable. We don't patch the corpse. We're replacing the nervous system entirely.

Data Loss
Prevention (DLP)

The Maginot Line of cybersecurity. Spend millions building walls around your critical data, then watch as it walks out in encrypted traffic, or leaves via an exec’s phone. They obsess over control; we're giving ownership back to the users so data never leaves without cryptographic consent.

Security Orchestration,
Automation, and Response (SOAR)

The category's dream: duct-tape your existing junk stack together so it at least looks superficially like it's actually working. SOAR doesn't solve problems; it choreographs your failures and ongoing inefficiencies continuously. We're erasing the need for orchestration by removing the bad instruments entirely.

Network Detection
& Response (NDR)

NDR is the ghost hunter of cybersecurity — scanning the haunted house long after you moved in. It's reactionary, expensive, and blind to the only layer that matters now: identity. We're putting the tripwires in the identity layer, where they can actually stop the ghost before it walks through walls.

Vulnerability
Management (VM)

Patch, scan, repeat. Forever. Because the model assumes you'll always have unpatched, exploitable, weak systems — and the vendors need you to keep blindly believing that it’s completely inevitable. We're not building faster patch cycles; we're making systems that truly cannot be exploited in the first place.

API
Security

This category exploded because no one actually secured identity in machine-to-machine interactions. It's endless bolt-ons, gateways, anomaly detection. We're baking trust directly into the calls — every API request cryptographically authenticated, posture-verified, and impossible to spoof.

Certificate Authorities
/ PKI Management

Centralized hierarchies pretending to be the backbone of trust. They issue and revoke certificates while claiming security. Keys are hoarded by a few root operators, and one breach can topple everything. We don’t hand over trust. Keys belong with the user — ephemeral, cryptographic, verifiable. The CA industrial complex is dead.

Password Managers
/ Secrets Vaults

The sad safes storing what should never be trusted. Static passwords, rotating keys, vaults on vaults — duct tape for a broken system. We're not patching the corpse. We're replacing it. Ephemeral keys, cryptography, ZK proofs — secrets stay on the device, user-controlled. Password managers? Obsolete.

Evolve or Get Out of the Way

If you're in security today, you have two choices:

Final Hit: The Hunger

This isn't reform.
This isn't dialogue.
This is conquest.

And, we are coming for everything. Not companies. Not vendors. Categories.

We will take the pillars you've built your careers on and grind them to dust.

We will devour your acronyms, dismantle your frameworks, and erase the taxonomies that let you hide from the real fight.

We will collapse your comfortable silos and make your budgets irrelevant.

When we're done, there will be no "security industry" as you know it — only those who can hunt, build, and dominate the terrain.



And we will own that terrain.

tl;dr